Over Before It Started

I went to a Christmas party and met a nice guy. Rather quiet but funny, tallish and built like a horse. Oh and did I mention he looks the spitting image of White House spokesman Robert Gibbs? Not terribly attractive [or at all] but we're just playing, nothing serious. We'll call him Robert, just to be fun.
Robert lives in Ogden. Robert is unemployed. That's two strikes so I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Robert calls and wants to take me to dinner Monday night, but I can't because I'm going to FHE (walking around temple square in 19 degree weather), I suggest lunch. We go to Jason's Deli for soup, chat and have an all-around nice time. Drops me off at work.

Not 3 hours later I get a text asking to do lunch again tomorrow. Sure I say, I'm always up for a luncheon, I get rather lonesome in my office. Expecting to have to pay for lunch I am surprised when he whips out his card again to pay for lunch. Ah yes, he just picked up his unemployment check so he's in the money. We sit down at our table and I think to myself "Self, isn't that the same shirt he wore yesterday? Naw, I'm sure it must be a similar style but not the exact shirt. He's almost 30, grown ups don't do that anymore." Again I am dropped off to my work.

Here's when it starts getting strange [but tell me you weren't speed reading to get to this part]. This morning I get a call from Robert. Now Robert, being unemployed and loving it, doesn't wake before 10:30 or 11am most days. How did he call me at 7:45? When I call back at 11:45am I've woken him from sleep. I say how surprised I was to see he had called so early.

"I was just getting back."
Back from where, I think. "Oh, late night?" I ask, with slight jealousy. I don't want him, he's ugly but I still don't want a hussy moving in on my lunch-date sugar daddy.
"Yeah, but I didn't have fun. Can I take you to lunch today?"
I think to myself: 1. if you didn't have fun, why stay out until almost 8am doing it? 2. what can you even be doing at 4 or 5 or 6am in Ogden anyway and 3. where can I make him take me to lunch.

I agree and we go to Fazzoli's. It's freezing so we leave our coats on. About half way through and I kid you not, he took off his coat and there was the shirt. I stare in disbelief. I get a squint in my eye and say, "Can I ask you something?" He knows what I'm about to ask. He looks down, hopefully in shame but you never can tell about boys. Before I can finish my question he says over our breadsticks and spaghetti, "you want to know if this is the same shirt I wore for the last two days". "It's been three days" I correct him.

Then to my shock and horror he admits it. He had a late night and didn't have time to change. I remark that it doesn't take more than 3 minutes to put on a new shirt. Then I feel sick to my stomach. Wait a second... if you haven't changed your shirt in 3 days then you haven't changed your underwear or showered... IN THREE DAYS!!!

I seriously almost vomit. We leave immediately. He thinks I'm overreacting. I say "do NOT call me again, even if you do develop better personal hygiene practices. You are SO not worth it" and stalked to my office where I will continue to shudder off and on for the next 2 hours.

All I Want for Christmas...

is for my cramps to go away. I hate being a girl. Not a nice Christmas gift to myself.

FHE in SLC

For Family Home Evening tonight, we're meeting at the Delta Center (aka Energy Solutions Arena) for a Christmas carol sing-a-long with Jon Schmidt. Hello that is going to be awesome! I love living in Utah.

Follow up on the sing-a-long:
Disappointing. The entire stadium was full and we could barely squeak out a decent Jingle Bells. Everyone knows that one! We left after the Jon Schmidt half-time show. Of course he played his awesome mashup between Coldplay and Taylor Swift {see it here and love it}which was phenomenal and we decided to leave on a high note.

The only good thing was we got free tickets to Bees games, Jazz games, coupon for hot dog, drink, and popcorn at the Delta Center and a couple other coupons. Score!

Game Night + Date Night

GAME NIGHT:
Last Friday was game night. When I first started going to the singles ward in Bountiful I learned they hang out together frequently and do game night every once in a while. What better way to get to know a lot of people from the ward in a casual setting {Honestly, it's hard to make friends in Sunday school when you are supposed to be quiet}.

The best part of game night was the night before cleaning. James had wanted to hang out and I told him I would be cleaning up, getting ready, and doing some shopping. He offered to help. So he helped me get everything ready for a party I didn't invite him to! I am terrible but I didn't want him there.

So Clary and 4 other girls showed up right at 8 {thankfully} and I started making rootbeer floats, then more people came, then more and more. At one point I was near the front door and 5 or 6 people walked in that I had never seen before. "Do I know any of you?" "No, we're friends of Mary" they reply. "oh" I say nodding my head, mulling this over. "Who is Mary?" "She's friends with Connie". AH, now I see. "Well, come on in, please don't steal anything. Do you want a rootbeer float or some apple pie?"

We had skip-bo, scrabble, nertz, guillotine, tons of Uno, and Rockband going all night. Most people were gone by midnight but there were three hardcore Rockbanders left until 1am. That was some serious gaming. Overall I think it was a success. I just need to get my parents out of the house again so I can have another game night or a movie night.

DATE NIGHT:
A lady in my family ward set me up with her step-son. Tom (not Burger Boy Tom - a new one) is 36, divorced with 2 kids, and if we're going to be honest, a little crabby. Let me paint a picture for you. Picture this, Becka is so excited for a date she goes out a buys a new outfit from Banana Republic and Gap. She dons her new duds, applies the makeup, flat irons her hair, and puts on the sassy shoes. She opens the door and there's a midget on her front step.

Ok not a midget but he's short. Like barely 5'8" and in my sassy shoes with 3" heels I'm taller than him. To make it even funnier he has a HUGE truck {compensating for something eh?} which I have to get a running start to literally jump up into.

We have dinner at the parents house with another 12 couples from the ward and then we're off to the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas concert with Natalie Cole. It was pretty good but he was dozing off through most of it. That's all I'm going to say. He dropped me off and that was that. But at least I got a new outfit from the date.

Fudge-athon

Last night I went to Erin's house for a fudge-athon. It was supposed to be seven flavors of goodness but only ended up being 4 with two duplicates: toffee, almond joy, plain, and peppermint.

These girls are seriously the funniest people I've met, it's like they're all doing a stand-up comedy hour. And the best part is they think I'm funny too. Gosh I love this new ward. There is absolutely no one to date but the girls are fantastic. And that's what I need right now. Girl friends. Men, I'll take them as I get them, but these girls are always doing something.

Anyway, while we were sitting around the table talking somehow Bregg came up in conversation. I told them my fantastic stories about his craziness and advances. Turns out the guy rolled his car when he was 17 and has a couple screws loose! I felt so bad! Here I was totally bad mouthing the guy and he was in a severe accident. I am such a wench!

Luckily they all jumped in saying they were in the same boat a while ago. Truly (yes her name is Truly, her sister is Shirley) gave him gum and he was practically grabbing her boob and licking her. Stephanie was nice enough to talk to him for a while and he wanted to make out. Evidently he has no boundaries but does well when you bluntly say, "Bregg that is not ok, step back."

Moral of the story, steer clear of horny guys after they've been in accidents.

[I'll post about game night that was a success and date night - I just thought the Bregg thing was awesome]

Follow up from the last post

I wanted to share with all of you how my luck works. I meet a guy. I am not interested. He is. He sends ridiculous texts. I post them. You all snicker and tell me that it made you laugh and that I should hang in there.

Here we go...

The following is the text from Tom that I received this morning {please read about my date with Tom to see why this is just keeping with the way things happen for me}

"Hey Becka - I just wanted to tell you - you are unlike any woman I have ever met, and I like it :) have a great week, would you? ;)"

Would I? Really? Oy la la... it's like Bregg all over again!

Adventures with Burger Boy and Sassy Girl

In my search for a singles ward I liked, I attended the Westminster ward in Salt Lake. It's a student ward my dad heard about through a friend in the bishopric. We met in a BEAUTIFUL building with stained glass windows and lovely artwork in the chapel. Why don't more of our meeting houses have stained glass windows? This ward had about 280 active members and I met only a handful of people in the month I attended. One of them was Tom.

Tom is Burger Boy. He looks like the Bob's Big Boy statue in front of those old restaurants, but without the adorable pompadour on top.
Unfortunately Tom is the only guy who approached me and asked me out. I look at this as practice. I can go on dates but don't have to date him. Work on making small talk with people I normally wouldn't interact with. {I'm working on a nice refusal, how does "It's sweet of you to offer but I'm not interested" sound? Too mean?}

I do my best to be unattractive without embarrassing myself for our lunch date. We go to El Matador and have mediocre Mexican food while listening to an oldies station. We talk about school, work, family and then delve into a lengthy temple discussion. The ironic thing is I was going out with this guy who wanted to have more deep conversations like that but it wasn't comfortable with him. With Burger Boy, it was nice. I hate that you can connect with someone and be so incredibly unattracted to them. I mean, his teeth look like kernels of baby corn... and they're gappy.

Come on universe. Throw me a bone! I am not hideous but I'm not hot. Can I get one of the same caliber as myself? *gasp* What if Burger Boy is my equal! This is when Sassy Girl gets on her rant of how she is not that ugly, sure she has a kink in her hair that won't straighten and larger pores on her nose than she'd like, and her thighs are a little meatier than she'd care for but come on! Burger Boy?! Seriously?

The date reminded me of a joke I used to tell in high school that has come back to haunt me. Men are like parking spaces. The good ones are already taken. The ones that are left are all handicapped.

PS - I'm hosting game night next week, should be a good post!

7 Out of 10 Stars

Ashlee "Eve" gave last night 7 out of 10 stars. I think she had a hard time focusing on Brother Wilcox's lesson. This guy is so learned and very smart; I think he's just too smart for this class. Before we read a verse he's got us reading two other chapters in Isaiah and Ezekiel... just to set the mood. When I try hard to follow him and focus, instead of scoping out the hotties and not-hotties, I enjoy the tangents.

I personally gave the night an 8. We stacked our chairs and wandered around for a bit, looking for Todd & Shane, or Aaron and Austin. Really anyone we knew but didn't see anyone. We didn't even see creepy Larry! A little crestfallen we wander over to the hot cocoa line. I made brief chitchat with the guy behind but not much more. Then up comes James (from two weeks ago).

Tangent: Last weekend and the weekend before I went out with James. He is NOTHING to look at. I saw going out with him as practice spending time with a guy alone. He is a great talker - he could talk to himself for several days before he got bored. Two things I learned about James: 1. Evidently after a girlfriend and him break up, the next guy she dates she marries. 2. He's very good at complimenting me (which is what I really needed from the relationship). 3. He's good for emotional support. 4. He claims to have kissed 100 people - to which I almost choked on my drink.

Anyway so James comes up trying to act all cool and totally makes an arse of himself. It was awesome. After he walked away Ashlee looks at me and says, "did that just happen?!" HA ha oh man. We stand talking about what our issue must be and around the corner comes Hal.

Hal is 34, living at home, he's a computer programmer but is finishing a degree in...something engineering. Biology? Agricultural? Micro? I don't remember - do you Ashlee?

Anyway, he seems like he's half asleep as we're talking and [this is my favorite part] and I say "Can I ask you something?" to which Ashlee's eyes get as big as saucers. I later found out she was thinking 'Becka! What are you going to ask? Oh my gosh don't ask something crazy!'

I asked Hal why he came over to talk to us. I explained we haven't had a good track record and wondered why he chose us of all the people in the room. He said it was because he came through the door and saw us not too deep in conversation and said hi. Easy as that. After another 20 minutes of conversation we gave him our numbers to do something later. My second favorite part of the night was later he couldn't remember our names (no surprise anymore) and only remembered I was from Bountiful and Ashlee from Clearfield. So I suggested he just call us Miss Bountiful and Miss Clearfield.

I really wanted to be entered in his contacts list as Miss Bountiful.

Mama Sue needs your help

My mom is finally getting around to painting the front door of our house. It's Georgian out front - very traditional. The problem is they just moved from a VERY modern house in California. Mom is still clinging to modern and is making a great effort to make it fit in this house - if you ask me she has shoving a square peg in a round hole.


We've polled the neighbors, family members, home teachers on the door and everyone is split. What do you guys think?

White trim around the door, sides, and window:


Or white trim around the door, sides, window, and lower panel:


Mom is begging for opinions.

Manhunt (it's not what you're thinking)

I went to Institute last night without my sidekick Ashlee/Eve and met some new people. They ended class early to have a baked potato bar *dry heave* and chomped on some red vines while I scanned the crowd for last week's new friends, Shane and Todd. No such luck.

As I'm standing there I strike up a conversation about red vines with Matt. Matt is a mathematics and physics major and let's just say, not my bag, but I chit chat. Next thing I know we're talking to the guy in front of us, Jim. So the three of us are talking about Disneyland, Italian sodas, Twizzlers and decide to sit down near another group of 3 people to make friends since we're all alone.

We sit down and have a great time. Michael coordinates Moab trips in March for everyone he knows. Lizzie is a Poli-Sci PhD who is working for the church in the trademark and copyright division, James is an unemployed History major, Kevin (who had hair like Prince Charming on Shrek) works for the city, and Matt is a student. We talked about everything from cartoons, to the Yankees, the Jazz, Moab, Japan...pretty random. We start leaving around 10pm and are standing in the snowfall and decide to go get some hot chocolate.

We all drive over to Village Inn and sat talking for another 90 minutes. I ask what time it is and funny Jim says "9:30. Just kidding 11:30". I almost spit out my cocoa. I started home and as I got closer I noticed a car following me. Totally freaked me out, was it one of the people I met and they were a creep?! Oh my gosh and I just realized I don't have my phone to call the police or anything. I speed off trying to shake him.

As I get closer to home the car is right behind me again. Oh my gosh he's going to kill me and my family. Wait, why is the garage door opening in the third bay? The car following me was my dad. Wait, why is he getting home at 12:15am? He doesn't work this late. I get in the house and my mom is in tears.
"I thought you were dead! I thought I'd never see you again. I've been calling your phone but you left it here and you didn't check in and it's past midnight on a week day! Where have you been!?!"

Little did I know, while I was out having fun my loving parents had been trying to distract themselves while the worried and long hours ticked away from the time I usually get home from class. Finally Mom was so upset she sent my dad out to look for me and sent my sister in Salt Lake over to the institute to look for my car. She was worried that I didn't have my mace to ward off the weirdos if they come on too strong. We all had a good cry and LOTS of hugs.

They were going to call the police and start a hunt for me... suffice it to say, I'm grounded.

Game Night

Friday afternoon I got a call from my childhood sweetheart look-alike [see story of our meeting here], whom we will call Rhett. We had gone back and forth leaving messages for each other after the initial meeting and he had said he would call next time they had game night. Almost 2 months had gone by and I deemed it a lost cause to hope. But he called and invited me over for Saturday game night with his work friends.

I got there and met his friends, expecting to see a woman who would be hanging all over him. There was no girl. In fact, everyone there was either married or dating. Right on! I made it a point to get cozy with each friend, made a huge effort to be fun and witty; isn't that what you want to see - your friends getting along well with the person of interest?

I learned a lot about him, he works for IHC (in the insurance division), he served his mission in Paris (he can whisper sweet nothings in French to me anytime!), he's 34, he owns his house, and he has a great laugh and good sense of humor. So far so good.

Dinner entailed him making crepes for everyone and not sitting down for about an hour and a half. Afterwards we played a game that I brought and I made it a point to go sit next to him. We were able to make some small talk. After 11pm some people left and a few of us stayed to play Flunko. With the small group I was able to weasle myself into the group more - they have invited me to be in their birthday group and dinner.

As I drove home at 1am, I considered the 6 hour activity a success.

Making Friends

Institute update:

I think I have a radar for Larry. I could be focused on the lesson given and for some unknown reason I look at the door and I'm looking at a staring Larry. Immediately both Ashlee and I put our purses on the seats next to us so he can't sit down.

But we made new friends. We were standing in the back next to the table with the information about class, sign up to be on the email list, register for the class, etc. and some cute guy walks up and says something like "should I sign up to be on the list". Let me just take a step back. I am TERRIBLE at starting up conversations. I don't know what to say without being obvious that I'm trying to start up a conversation. I am beyond awkward at that moment. Step back in.

I step forward and say the email basically is sent out an hour or two before the class and says 'we have snacks!' he laughed and we started chatting with him and his friend. Ashlee points out she doesn't get the emails but she gets a ride with me, to which Asian-guy says, if I don't sign up can I get a ride too? Har har.

They asked our names and I said I was Bailey and Ashlee was Eve. Asian-man Shane said, wow those are unique names. My fake-name-detection red light started going off so I threw in the "I'm named after the sister missionary who converted my parents" which isn't a lie - my middle name is named after her. After that the guy says I look like a Bailey. How funny is that.

This is when I think I botched it up. We asked their names and I don't even remember the guy that I was talking to b/c he didn't look like the name. He said he's always wanted to be called Todd. I looked up him and down and said, "you're not a Todd. The Todd I know is big and Greek. I think you look more like a ….Doug". The end. He was beyond disinterested after that. Shane was very pleasant and talkative and said our names over and over. But as we walked away I said, goodnight Todd to try and smooth things over.

The sad part was he works in Clearfield, like a mile away from me. When he said that I was off on lunch dates and fun times. But on the bright side, this was the most positive experience we've had there. Things are a-changing.

Oh and I'm going to singles wards now. We'll see if there are any stories I can bring back from there.

I could lick myself

Normally I am a coconut kind of girl - shampoo, body wash, lotion - but at the grocery store I fell victim to advertising and marketing. I tend to pick the same things because I have a bad picker. I pick up items - food, shampoo, clothes, men - and get buyers remorse soon after.

I bought Tone Mango Splash body wash with cocoa butter and LOVED it. I took a shower last night and as I was laying in bed reading I could smell myself so fresh and delicious. It's like when you buy a chapstick that's flavored and you want to keep licking your lips because it smells and tastes good. It was like that… but all over.

Let me just tell you, the lather was so thick I felt like I was in a commercial and should be moaning or smiling distractedly as I lather up. Even after a walk/jog for 2 miles at the gym before work, when I hopped in the shower and got my skin wet I still could smell it. Blueberry was a close second; the mango was such a good choice! I would encourage anyone who is looking to shake things up in the shower, try one of the new Tone body washes. You will not be disappointed.

Fakin' It

After many weeks of institute and being asked my name and not wanting to give the correct one to the creep next to me, I've decided I need a good fake name to give out. Code to my partner in crime Ashlee that we need to cut this guy short. I got the idea from "Friends" - you know how Phoebe always had a name ready, Regina Phalange.

So I've got some ideas but no real clear winner. My mom and I sat on the stairs for 45 minutes one night coming up with names, then she'd stare at me and give it a yay or nay. Here's the list of ones I like - tell me what you think:

Bailey

Reagan (pronounced REE-gan)

Evie

Savannah

Cheyenne (we were in city mode)

Riley or Kiley

Amy (that was mom's hands down pick)

Abby

My neighbor just had a baby and she named her Lola. I think that's a little too out there.

I like Cassidy but Ashlee's going to be either Eve/Eva or Cassie. But the point is to have something fun and sassy. Becka…ugh so boring. Rebekah sounds stuck up. Who should I be? If you don't like one of those or have a better idea, I'm all ears. Seriously.

General Conference

I'll be singing in the Saturday afternoon session of General Conference this weekend. I'm wearing a plum colored shirt. My seat is in the sixth row, 5 seats to the right of the aisle between the women. My lady friend Sheila will be in purple sitting next to me.Tell me if you see me. I am so excited!!

Victory is mine!

Last night at Institute we approached some guys and it went well. Granted it took almost 20 minutes of milling around to work up the courage. Ashlee and I stood there trying to look available and approachable, which was unsuccessful [I think I need to practice in front of a mirror] to our dismay. She suggested we sit in the lobby and hope someone will strike up a conversation as they're walking out the door. I didn't particularly like the idea but was tired of waiting in the pheromone-infested chapel.

Just as we are sitting down we notice the two guys who sat behind us walking out the door. I frantically look to Ashlee, "should we go talk to them?" She asks what we'll say. In a blind dash I say over my shoulder, "I don't know what we're going to say but we are going to go talk to them, grab your purse!" We walk up to them, catch their eye and luckily they started up the conversation.

Austin: You were the girls sitting in front of us, right?
Me: Yep, you're the guys sitting behind us [silence and internal wishing for a backspace button]
Me: [trying to make up for the last DUMB comment] where are you guys off to?
Aaron: Home, we live in West Jordan.
Me: We were about to head to Gourmandise, would you like to join us?
Austin: I'd love to but he's driving so it's up to him.
Aaron: I've got an early day tomorrow, I can't. But can I get your number?

So it went well. For our first effort I'd give us a B-, marking down of course for two truly retarded comments by myself and for them not accepting the invitation.

AND
Update on the last bold move when I threw myself at that guy: I was at his house Tuesday night to do the intro, he finally called back and left a message on Sunday with the info about the class I already go to. Didn't say talk to you later, didn't say call me sometime, didn't say nice to meet you. He signed off, and I quote, "Have a good Sabbath". Hmmm...
So I called him back on Wednesday and left a message for him saying thanks for the information on the class, I was hoping to see you there, PS - I'd like to thank you for your help, can I take you out to ice cream or something.
He called back the next Sunday and left a message which basically said, I know you were trying to ask me out and I'm not going to really acknowledge it but just shoot you down by saying 'I was just happy to help. But next time we have game night I'll call you.'

So there is good news, if/when they have game night he'll call. He's obviously dating someone, so I can be charming to all his friends and who knows what will happen next. I'm just looking for friends right now. Who needs to get serious, not I.

But what I need help on is conversation starters. Any ideas?
So far I have:

1. Hi I'm Becka. Who are you?
2. Were you sitting behind me?
3. What did you think of the class?
4. Would you do me the honor of being my post-marriage fling?
   

Officially

Finally, officially, I am single.

Woo-hoo!

All revved up, should have taken a sleeping pill

It's time for the weekly Institute Storytime. Everyone grab your carpet square, sit in the circle. Bobby, keep your feet to yourself. Bobby. Bobby. Bobby please sit criss-cross applesauce. Thank you.

Austin, will you please review what we heard last week please. We just left the two women exasperated by the idiocy of Larry the creep. They have decided they need to be more gutsy and begin conversations with people. Great. Everyone settle down, now we'll begin reading:

The class was the same, interesting ideas and thoughts about the "beasts" in Revelations chapters 4-6, let me know if you want the notes. Ashlee and I decided we'd sit near someone cute, fain newness to start up a conversation like "we're new here, is this the 25-30 year old class?" however it's hard to tell whom to sit near from the backs of their heads. We decide to sit in the middle on our own row so guys will sit near us. Worked like a charm, except, they looked inbred. No thank you.

Class ends without our plan going into action. We make our way to the snacks and attempt making eyes at people. Ashlee isn't a slouch, she has the body of a tween so I thought she'll be my bait. Flaunt her and guys will be knocking each other over to meet us. No such luck. She said before she could crack a smile, guys would look away. Hmmmm well maybe we need to grow a pair and just approach someone. That tall one looks cute, oh no, never mind. How about the gray hat over there? Not your type, ok. uhh ... welp...I don't know.

Just then Larry starts making his way to us. I grab Ashlee's elbow without a word and we start trotting away; he reaches out and touches her shoulder and says "great shoes" in hopes we will stay. Ashlee just yells over her shoulder, "I know!" and we're free. He glued himself to some other poor person. I decided if he tries that again, I'm going to have to start packing heat. Anyway, as we're there discussing what it is about us that attracts him like a moth to a flame, the one and only black guy comes up to us. We make small talk and Ashlee would not have it. She pulled the kid card. "I've got to get going, I have kids at home". He was gone so fast, I don't remember him saying good night or nice to meet you or anything.

We saunter a little further and who should happen upon us but {texting} Bregg. I had pointed him out to Ashlee earlier so she was ready for it. This is the second best part, he walks up and says "I know you don't I? You especially I think I know" as he points to Ashlee. HA! I think he only got out 3 sentences before Ashlee pulled the kid card again. Nice work! Totally bummed we leave.

This is when the story gets good (in my opinion). I drop off Ashlee and as I'm driving home I notice the blue light from a tv in a house up the street. The very first Sunday in the ward here in Bountiful there was a guy who spoke in sacrament meeting - he was single. He looked like my childhood sweetheart [Brad Parks] with black hair. Oh so interesting but he never came again. Turns out he goes to the 31+ Single Adult ward and I was sent to Primary immediately so I never saw him again. Every time I drove by I'd wonder what he was like, where he worked, etc etc.

I saw the tv lights. He's home. Maybe I should stop by. What would I say, pretend I was looking for someone else? I whip around, determined to have success with a man this evening. I rang the doorbell and lied. Maybe not lied, but I didn't tell the full truth so I wouldn't look crazy.

I said, "I'm Becka, I just moved in with my parents (almost 10 months ago) and their first Sunday in the ward you spoke, and I don't know how to say this tactfully, you mentioned you were single. I just got back from Institute and wanted to know if you go to one or if there's a ward I should be going to. I went to the Bountiful institute class (also about 10 months ago) and it was all 18 and 19 year old kids." He invited me in, mentioned he goes to the older single adult ward and he thinks there's an institute class at the U. He asked for my number to give me the information he finds. He remembered my name without being prompted or asking for the first letter. And I know I saw one of those looks where you're trying to size up the person you're talking to.

Let me tell you, I was on fire. I was witty, friendly, and just dripping with charm. I got home so revved up I couldn't sit still. I should have taken a sleeping pill because man alive, I couldn't sleep to save my life. I wonder when he's going to call. If he'll call just to let me know about the class I'm already attending. Oh my gosh, I haven't had anything so exciting going on for the last year, I'm all agog. Simply agog.

Second verse, same as the first

*read as a play*
The scene is the Institute building at the University of Utah campus. A lovely 80 degrees at 7:10pm. Two women are walking towards the building, chatting about the religion class they will be attending. They are both wearing sunglasses.

Enter women stage right. They are startled because there are a ton more people attending the class tonight than last week. Excited about the prospects they grab a seat in the middle. They try to listen intently while the teacher, who is knowledgeable and full of stories, takes so many tangents in the lesson it's hard to remember what they were talking about in the first place.

The class ends. Cue all students in the hard chairs standing and stretching, maybe a few crack their backs while others pat their bottoms. Cue choreographed chair stacking dance, then saunter as sexily as possible to the snack shack. The women stop dead in their tracks. Applesauce cups, oh ew.

The two women are standing near a stack of chairs. There are more than a hundred people surrounding them, all chatting away with people they know. Some mill around looking for someone to meet. And then....freeze frame... she sees him. The creep Larry from last week.

"oh crap" the woman yelps as she tries to duck behind her smaller friend.
"Ignore him. Don't look at him, maybe he won't see us or remember us." says the friend. There is more furtive looking in the opposite direct. Straining the eyes to make it seem like they were trying to find one person out of the group.

Enter weirdo from last week from stage left; cue internal cursing and a roll of the eyes from the women. "Are you holding these chairs up?" *pause* "you've got your arm on them so the chairs don't run away." More internal cursing from the women. "Can I get your name, or is that not okay?"

With a burst of exasperation, the woman says, "you met me last week."
"Oh I don't remember that. What does your name start with? Give me the first letter and I'll guess it."

Visual aggression is shown in the woman while the other has remained turned away from the conversation. The woman notices her friend who previously offered to be the one to give the creeps the boot has chosen silence in hopes he takes the hint. The woman has learned these kind of guys do not take the hint. She looks back at the guy and says firmly, "no".

They stare at each other; him waiting for her to laugh and say just kidding and her waiting for him to leave. If she were on 'the Office', she would be looking at the camera right now. After at least 10 awkward second, she turns to the friend and says, "let's get out of here. My evening is ruined."

[this story is made possible by the letters L-A-M and the letter E. Had he not shown up, there would have been no post. This story is now being made into a Broadway play entitled "I'm a Magnet for Them". ]

And so it begins

Last night began the fall term of Institute class. Instead of going alone I invited two other girls [I'm calling us the "hottie posse" or maybe not]. The class this semester is on the Book of Revelations - always an interesting topic but never really understood.

On our drive to campus I'm telling the girls about Bregg and my previous encounters with weirdos there. They both laugh thinking I'm exaggerating. Little did they know...

Class is over, we stack our chairs, grab some snacks and wait. I was looking for an old roommate whose name I saw on the roll so I must have inadvertently looked at this guy. He's probably 6' 1" with dark brown, curly hair. He's carrying a laptop, Bible, Book of Mormon, and glasses case. This is his opening line:
"I've gotta get a bag to carry all this stuff in" to which friend #2 says, why don't you go right now. HA!

He continues unfaltering [or maybe he didn't hear her] "yeah I'm just so tired and anxious, I've only slept like 3 hours, actually it's more like only 2 hours (in his mind you can hear 'I'll get sympathy with the less hours I claim to have slept, plus then if I'm stupid is because I haven't slept. yeah that sounds good')".

I asked why he's so anxious. "This guy is stalking me". We all trade looks that say 'are you sure you want to talk to girls, seems like you're a mans man'.

He continues without hesitation "he's dating my ex-girlfriend. Well, she was cheating on me or at least I think she was cheating on me with him and now she's cheating on him and he must think it's with me. You know to get back at him. But I'm not. So I looked him up on Google, and found he has a webpage or something that talks about doing a voodoo doll of me and he's trying to kill me. So I called the cops on him. But it took them 20 minutes to get to my house and they're only like 4 blocks away. By the time the cops got to my house, he was gone. So now I'm looking for a new apartment. And I changed my phone number and changed my email address, but somehow the ex-girlfriend sent me an email and I responded and then she forwarded it to the guy, and then he emailed me all this stuff about how terrorists are going to take over the country and he'll be there to wave them in. But so I'm tired and I just started classes again. I'm getting my Masters degree in Behavioral Psychology and Counseling."

Those are just the highlights that I can remember. This was all without a single word from the three of us. Only looks of terror. But you have to give him props for approaching three ladies. On the car ride home we decided we are going to have to be rude to some guys. We cannot have this every week. Friend #2 offered to pipe up and be the person to give the creep the heave-ho.

As he walked away and we all put our hands to our heads I turned to them and said decidedly, "It must be me!" We all got a big laugh out of that.

Some Bad News

Last week I went in to the county courthouse to drop off the last of my divorce papers. In 5-6 days I call in, they say "your divorce decree is here", I pick it up and am free. Or at least that's what was supposed to happen.

Instead I got there and the little Asian lady starts shaking her head slightly. I think, "please let it just be Parkinsons' Disease, please oh please".

No dice.

Turns out, Adam disagreed with the divorce documents. WHAT?! Oh wait, I remember that he sent me something. His 1987 pink Acura had died back in June so he got a new car. So instead of writing in a different document saying, by the way, I got a new car and it's mine, he disagreed with the divorce.

Now we have to go to mediation. Shoot me. Of course I try my best to explain that he's a moron and only disagreed that the doesn't have the car anymore, he wanted to notify the court of the new one, and he's in Missouri. She was very unsympathetic.

So now I think we're going to have to do some sort of phone mediation (which I'm making him pay for if there are any costs involved) which will go something like this:

A: "I got a new Corolla in June. It's mine. She can't have it."
Me: "I understand I can't have it. I don't want it. I will not try to take it in or after the divorce is final."
Mediator: "Great. Sign this document and mail it in."

I could have been legally single this Friday! Who knows how long this will take now. I guess I'm not going anywhere soon.

Julie & Julia

For Girls Night Out last weekend, Grandma Dolores, Mom, Janene, and I went out for dinner and a movie. I think this was the first time any of us went to a movie on opening night. My mom was so worried the movie would be sold out, Janene and I just laughed. "Really, Julie and Julia sold out? HA!" Turns out, it was a packed theater.This movie was so fantastic. Not at all a chick-only-flick. There were several times that we laughed out loud. It was such a great story because the wives and husbands in the story were so devoted to each other. There was no hanky-panky that is in every other movie now; there was one swear word that they could have done without and another word that is just funny to hear her say. If those two words were left out, it would have been rated G.

But it's a fabulous story of working hard on a project that tests you, that you can do anything you put your mind and effort to. I personally took away that I don't need someone else to make me happy, I just need myself and a good project. My mom learned you should never apologize for anything you cook. If you mess up in the kitchen that's fine, no one is there to see your mistake. Fix it up as best you can and keep going.

I think this is a movie husbands would like. So for all you that have been dragged to action movie after CGI movie, make them take you to this one as pay back. They won't mind. And I guarantee, you'll both walk away with a smile.

Wondering

What would be my 6-year anniversary is coming up this Saturday, August 8. Part of me would like to do something nice for myself (like a pedicure, some shopping) but the other part of me thinks I should ignore the day and treat it like any other. I don't want to commemorate my wedding date when on the verge of divorce.

What do you guys think? Ignore it or do something?

Grandma's 90th Birthday

My Grandma Dolores (mom's mom) turned 90 last week. All she wanted to do was go to Vegas and play the slots. She used to take road trips with her girl friends back in the day but in the last decade they've gotten too old to make the trek. My Aunt Jan and Uncle Jim drove from San Diego to pick her up and we met in Las Vegas on Sunday the 19th. We got a really good deal on suites at the Wynn Encore.

We checked into our fantastic hotel rooms - vary spacious rooms with huge, comfy beds, tile everywhere in the bath, and mechanically-opened curtains (it was a big hit with our group). Our course the first thing we did was watch Aunt Jan set up shop. This woman brings enough food for a small army to be fed for a month and we're only going to be here for 3 days. She has apples, grapes, bananas, yogurt, granola, chips, salsa, cream cheese, sodas... she was like Mary Poppins with her carpet bag. The goodies just kept coming.









Aunt Jan, Grandma, and me in the room... snacking


Uncle Jim and Dad...talking man stuff

After dinner we turned Grandma loose on the slots. She is one lucky lady. She keeps all the money she wins and that's what she gambles with the next time she goes. So she never loses any of her money, she plays with what she's won. And she ALWAYS wins.

The next day was devoted to laying out. All 6 of us spent some time at the pool. Everyone enjoyed doing a whole lot of relaxing. It was such nice weather - not too hot but still hot enough that you had to jump in the pool every 20 minutes or you'd die.

This is humor at 90

We ventured over to the outlet mall, for what purpose I don't know. No one bought anything, we just walked around maybe 2 stores and then left for another mall. It was really chaotic and random, I still have no idea why we were there. We had dinner at a very nice restaurant on the lower level of the Wynn... the name escapes me now, but it was really nice looking over a water fall and pool. Every half hour there was some sort of production - a giant frog singing "What a Wonderful World", a video projected on the waterfall, and other stuff. It was really neat.

The women in the little gardens in the Wynn after dinner

Tuesday was much the same except the older women folk went to the Palazzo to see how hot the slots were over there and check out the stores. After everyone had their morning to do as they wanted (my morning was entirely spent poolside), we drove over to the Venetian for our birthday festivities.

We had dinner at the Grand Lux which is basically the Cheesecake Factory without the cheesecake variety. We all had a lovely dinner and because it was so early we got right in. We all noticed that the Venetian was a mad house. Total chaos. They have 4 shows going every night - The Phantom of the Opera, Blue Man Group, Wayne Brady, and Jersey Boys. Grandma picked the Phantom of the Opera, I was secretly voting for Lion King, but it wasn't my birthday.

Uncle Jim, Grandma, Dad at the Grand Lux


Me, Aunt Jan, and Mom at the Grand Lux

The really neat thing about the show was the Venetian built a new theater for it - basically it's a replica of the Opera House in Paris that the story takes place in. The section the audience sits in is a normal theater house, but the stage and the sides are in the famous red velvet and gold, there were even mannequins sitting in the booths dressed in period attire.


Grandma at the show


Aunt Jan, me, Mom, and Grandma by the gondolas in the Venetian

It was a fantastic night, followed by cheesecake in the hotel room. On our way back we realized how lucky we were to be staying in the Encore. Definitely a different type of person stays there, the people weren't loud, obnoxious, or disorderly. It was rather quiet, everyone was dressed to the hilt, and it was well lit. Just a few hours in the Venetian reminded us all why we don't enjoy Vegas or go there often.

For being 90 years old, she gets around really well, her hearing isn't so hot and we have to repeat a lot but that's to be expected. She remembers names and dates better than my mom does (don't tell her I said that) and loves to dance. She really looks about 80 and acts like she's only 70. I think if her shoulder was in good shape she'd be out playing golf every day still and in her bowling league. She has men falling all over themselves to be with her in the little retirement home she's in. All in all, she doing really well for her age. Her mother lived to be 100 and I can easily see her passing that without a hitch.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

I boycotted the Harry Potter books when they first came out. I don't know why I do that. I boycotted Pride and Prejudice, Twilight, Marley and Me. I think it's because of all the fuss and I'd like to think of myself and non-sheep. But I always end up reading the books after the hub-bub is died down and kick myself for not introducing the book into my life sooner.

I read the fourth book and just couldn't finish it and stopped there. After the Order of the Phoenix movie came out I was brought back into the fold. I tore through books 5, 6, and 7 and scolded myself for letting Harry Potter out of my life. Now that the Half-Blood Prince is almost out in theaters I decided to re-read it...and The Deathly Hallows as well because I couldn't stop myself.

My mom loves the movies but has never read the books. It drove me nuts because after the movie she'd walk out saying, that didn't make any sense, why this, why that? I'd have to then explain that the book goes into it more and explains things. I finally told her I would not see this movie with her if she didn't read the book first. [How mean is that?] But she's so into it now. She stopped reading after Harry and Ginny kiss - she didn't want to ruin the movie by knowing what's coming.

So now the good news. My fabulous brother {and boss} somehow go tickets to the Tuesday night show at 9pm. I don't have to stay up until 2am because the show starts at midnight! I am so excited!

I QUIT

I didn't wake up thinking today was the day of freedom. In fact, it started like any other day. Snoozed the alarm twice, took 15 minutes picking out something to wear, rushed through the rest of getting ready, listening to the Spiderwick Chronicles on the 45 minute commute to work, and was at work only 5 minutes late.

At 9:30 or so my bestest friend whom I work with told me she was being let go. She has been there for me for years - I feel awful b/c I brought her to work with me at BrainStorm. We worked at Public Surplus together for a year and I brought her with me. I think she's the only person who really knew what I have been going through for so many years with A. Needless to say, I was in shock. I had been trying to convince her when I quit (after a HUGE deal came in for me) to walk out at the same time. My heart was racing when my manager asked to talk with me.

We went for a walk to a local bakery and as we walked he told me about how my own job status was hanging by a thread, that I had too much of a bad attitude (granted I'll agree with that one to a degree but I thought going through a divorce would lend some sympathy). As we sat there and he went over and over about my short-comings I decided I would do what I wanted my friend to do for me. When asked what I thought, I looked him in the eye and said, "I'm going to be brave. If you will send me my check on the 5th, I think I'm done here."

Now he started back pedaling, wait don't do anything rash, take the day to think it over. Turns out, no one told him to come tell me my weaknesses and how I need to shape up or ship out. He did that on his own. And if he hadn't, I probably would have stayed. It's nice how that's been happening. I would have stayed with A but he did some things that were too far past the line so I felt justified in leaving. Same here. I feel like I got all I could out of that job, I was just putting in my time until something better came along.

So I'm off to go call my brother and tell him I'd like to be his legal secretary/adminstrator person we've been talking about for a few weeks. This decision feels really good, I'm not in tears, not breathing into a bag b/c I'm hyperventilating. I feel empowered. I left of my own accord b/c I was tired of putting up with the stress and hell I've been through in the last several months.

I now close that awful chapter in my life. Done. Never to be opened again.
I like this bold and brave new Becka. I think I'll keep her around.

First Glimpse Into Singlestown

My parents are leaving today for a week and a half long trip to Europe - 5 days in Paris and another 3 or 4 in London. Which leaves me in a huge house all by my lonesome. I don't think I've been alone for more than a day since I left Missouri, I'm actually kind of nervous. We'll see if I start talking to myself just to fill the quiet and feel less alone.

I think I'm going to make it a point to get out and do things. I am a homebody, I would happily hardly leave my house. But I think I'm going to attempt a Saturday movie - which is huge for me. Maybe I'll go for some long walks. And of course shopping.

What do you guys do when you're completely alone? I need some ideas.

PS. Tonight I am working with a group in the ward to clean the Bountiful Temple. Evidently they have members in the temple district help with vacuuming or something. 9:30 to midnight cleaning, then up at 6 for work. I think I'll need a nap tomorrow.

Bonus Time = Happiness

I love love love Clinique makeup. I agree it is overpriced but I still love it, mostly because of bonus time. Purchase something for $25 and get $65 worth of free stuff. I have so many of the cute bags the bonus stuff comes in; they're perfect for vacation trips, holding old makeup, BC pills for future use, Qtips, the possibilities are endless. To quote He-who-must-not-be-named, "they're as handy as a midget".

Anyway, get to Nordstrom before June 6th. {click here to see what you're getting}

Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel

It's time for the monthly Bregg-ism. He's the one that kept calling and texting; I finally told him to call me at a new number...the rejection hotline. [Need a refresher on the story of Bregg?] I had hope that he would take the hint, but deep down I knew he'd be back. *long sigh*

I got the text this morning and read it to the guys. Shad said, I didn't understand that, did you read it wrong? I handed him the phone. Nope, the guy is just an idiot. Kasey read it, we started contemplating how long it took him to write that, if he worked on a few drafts and this was the best he came to, how many girls did he mass-mail this to. All I know is, I feel dumber for having read it.

"So much research has been done on the worth of a soul, of a girl. =Priceless, and deserves the the best of the best of all boys. The Temple has always been the house to go to if ever she's wondering, or feels she wants to see another choice or 2."
{yes there were to "the"s, there was an equals sign, and no sense whatsoever}

Gotta Love a Joker

One of the girls I work with is named Marisha Akin; she is one of those people whom I never seem to really jive with. We tolerate each other but neither really gets the other. At work, Marisha works in the shipping/accounting department and we send all our orders and samples through her.

A few weeks ago I submitted samples for the National Cotton Council in Tennessee (fancy, huh?) and his name is Barry Akin. As I'm talking to Barry I think, gosh how many people do I know named Akin. Just her, I wonder if they're related. When I submit my samples I get an email from Marisha saying "He's my cousin!! I love him, Big Bad Barr". I was so excited, how cool is that?! I work with this guy's cousin. Rock on.

So I wait a week, call Barry back to make sure he received the samples and see what he thought. I got his voicemail so I mention the package and close with, "hey I think your cousin works here, call me back".

Today Barry called. We did the obligatory how was your three-day weekend, yada yada.

Me: Oh yeah, I think your cousin works here. Her name is Marisha.

Barry: Who? I don't know a Marisha.

Me: She's married to Michael. They live out here in Utah.

Barry: Well if she's a cousin of mine, I don't know her.

At this point I hear Marisha in the background saying, is she talking about me? What is she saying? And then she remembers. By this time I'm already into my next HORRIFYING statement :

Me: Yeah she said the family calls you Big Bad Barr.

Marisha is now squealing in both horror and what I think was uncontrollable laughter as she tells everyone else that she was lying to me. And then predicted, as soon as I hung up, I was going to kill her. I quickly changed the subject with Barry and took his order. As soon as I hung up, I ran over to her and tried to be mad but it was just too funny. The fact that I used the tagline Big Bad Barr is the best part. That gave me about 10 minutes of laughing so hard I was crying.

Who needs the gym when you've got me around making a fool of myself to substitute for an ab workout.

I love SNL

Who are the people in your neighborhood?

Do you remember that song on Sesame Street?

"Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood. In your neighborhood. In your neighborhood. Say who are the people in you neighborhood. They're the people that you meet when you're walking down the street. They're the people that you meet each day."

I can't tell you the last time I saw an episode of Sesame Street, that song is one that has stuck with me through my whole life. Some would call it a gift, I call it a curse. I feel like I've got a radio going in my head - songs pop in out of nowhere. But that's off-subject.

Last night as I was driving home I saw President Dieter Uchtdorf and his wife walking along Bountiful Blvd. Just walking. I was surprised he didn't have any bodyguards around. Just him and his wife in their cute little workout outfits. I guess they're not afraid of crazies in Bountiful.

Evidently there are a lot of church leaders just a few blocks away. My parents went to a ward where Elder Bednar attends when they were looking at houses. When the sacrament meeting was closing he got up and left an apostolic blessing on the congregation. Can you imagine giving a talk in that ward, I would be beyond nervous.

You got SERVED

I took the plunge. I finally served Adam the divorce papers. Well, I sent them certified mail and that is serving him. I kinda hope he doesn't sign the certificate or something so I can have the Sheriff serve him at work. Wouldn't that be awesome! Oh man, I'd pay the $20 for that to happen with a video camera going.

Another big step, this morning I deleted him from my Facebook friends. I had a slight panic attack but the guys were there for moral support. Kasey took a picture to mark the moment my new life started.

(just a little freaked out)

This Made My Day!

So I walked in to work this morning hating life - seriously, TGIF. My mom has a friend from California staying over with us and is obviously not on Utah time and was up until 2am or later puttering around in the kitchen above my bedroom making all kinds of noise. Opening drawers, checking cupboards, etc. I didn't want to go up there and ask her to freakin knock it off for fear I might offend her. Needless to say, 6am came too quickly.

This website gave me the pick-me-up that I needed. Here's just a preview to pique your interest.
Evidently there's a team going to Anchorage, Alaska in May for the competition. I kind of want to go. Jeff at work thinks we could start a "Send Becka to the WBMC" only $650! And LOOK WHO'S GOING! I love that some of these guys are in costumes!

If you are curious what makes an imperial mustache not a wild west or the slight differences between the Garibaldi and the Verdi partial beards, look no further. A picture analysis is available at this website. I would highly suggest looking through each category and view the current champ. My personal favorite is the Imperial Partial Beard -- Karl-Heinz Hille. Who knew hair could go like that?! He looks like such a happy fellow.

Happy Earth Day

I like this picture, especially "I'm not trashy".

I need help! *sniffle*

So I got this email from Adam and for some reason was so upset that I locked myself in the bathroom for a good 30 minutes this morning at work crying. All morning I've been trying to figure out what my problem is and why this was so upsetting to me. Thoughts so far:
The fact that he admits to drinking or that he alludes to doing more?
The fact that it takes me leaving for him to get himself in the direction of the right and he wouldn't do that when I asked him as his wife?
Or maybe it's because I'm awful lonesome and the only person I'd like a hug from is the one that has hurt me the most?

In any case, I really need some help working through this.

Becka,

We'll It's 3 in the AM and I cannot sleep. I thought I would respond to your email, as I have been thinking about you and its been keeping me up. I guess there are just a few things on my mind that I feel like I need to share with you. My intentions are purely to share some feelings I've been having. I feel like you need to know them.

I have been doing A LOT of thinking about us. Lots of my thoughts involve missing you, and wishing you were here. I try not to let that cloud my thoughts of what's best for both of us. Since I began having doubts about my "doubts of the church", I feel different. I didn't actually make it out to conference, but since I have Dish, I somehow get KBYU. So I TiVo'ed the Sunday sessions of conference. I've watched most of them, but not all yet. It was interesting. I felt something I haven't in awhile and that made me think about something Bishop Lambson said when we went in October for our interview. He said something to the effect of: "You'll notice something is missing. Maybe not right away, but you will notice its gone." I'm pretty sure he's talking about the spirit. And I think this past weekend, when I watched conference, I felt that spirit for the first time in a very long time. I started thinking about my doubts and about what the BOM and the church teaches.

How can I deny the spirit? I don't think I can think my way out of that. I am smart enough (I hope) to understand there are different ways to think about things. Spiritual, intellectual, logical, etc. I've been using only two of the three. I am not saying I believe the church is true, but I am saying that I am having serious doubts about my so-called "conviction" that its not true. I have to listen to my heart. I think often times your heart tries to tell you something. Is that the spirit? I don't know. Maybe sometimes it is, maybe sometimes it isn't. I prayed for the first time in awhile too a few weeks back. I simply asked God if I was making a mistake. I think I am, at least that's the feeling I got. I've done some pretty stupid stiff since you left. And I don't like it, and I'm not proud of it. But I want to be honest with you. You deserve that. I think the Word of Wisdon is a great idea. Alcohol only leads to misery, and I don't want to go down that path. Sure, it can be fun for a night out, but its REALLY not worth it. Trust me.

Let me say, I am not doing this to get you back. I am doing this for myself. I don't think you will believe me, but I don't feel like I need to convince you.

Soon, I plan on attending church again. I want to give it a second chance. Will I come back? I don't know. But I'd be stupid if I just dismissed it like so many who leave do. If I do, I've got some serious repenting to do.

Anyways, I wanted to share these thoughts, as they have been itching at me for some time. You're still my best friend, and I trust you with my feelings.

I would like to know what you think about them. Am I kidding myself about all this? Ugh. Life's been hard since you've been gone. You were my rock. And I screwed it up. For that I appologize. It's not my intention to hurt you with this email. I really hope I haven't I want the best for you, and that means you're happiness.

I hope you are having a good day and that life finds you well. You are a great person Becka.

Adam

Holy Crap

This is worth watching, I think it's about 7 minutes long. At the end there is a girl who freakin 'jumps' the rope on her stomach. They don't even look out of breath!

Oh to be 10 again and jump rope without wobbly bits
and pieces all over the place.

I Wish I Were Joking

He called again. I blame Jessica Beecher for commenting "But I secretly hope he calls you back so I can have another good laugh". Thanks Jessica.

Luckily I had left my phone in the car and he left a message. I even played it for the guys I work with - they were laughing so hard. He obviously doesn't remember our conversations and must be just going through his contact list, making booty calls.

The message went like this: "Hey Becky (yes he called me Becky - idiot), how it going. Just…thinking aboutcha, hope you're having a way good night. And give me a call a little bit later when you get a free moment. Bye."

Shoot him, someone stop this madness. He obviously doesn't understand no means no.

When I told one of my co-workers about the call, he mentioned there used to be a Rejection Hotline. We found it and I texted him to call me at 801-820-4032. Try it - if he doesn't take a hint after this... I'll have to resort to violence.

Doing My Part

I don't know if everyone gets the email notifications from the Gap, but they're having an online sale - 30% off all their new arrivals. The discount is good for Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Republic through April 9th. Just type in the promo code: NEW30 at the check out.

I'm just doing my part to stimulate the economy, one shirt at a time.

I’m so crafty

Look at me being so crafty! Thanks Chels. I love the handwritten look. The website I got it from has 300 fonts available here.

You have GOT to be kidding me

You must read the previous post before reading this one.

So the idiot called me last night. Completely shocked that he'd dare call again after I turned him down, I answer expecting another round of confusing conversation. He didn't disappoint.

"Hey Becka, I just got your message". This was the message I left about 2 weeks ago saying we could do the gallery stroll in downtown SLC. I reminded him of that and he says, oh that's too bad I thought we could go out this weekend.
*silence* I say, "Don't you remember talking to me last Friday? I said I didn't want to go out with you. "
*backpedaling from him* "Yeah I remember but thought you might want to go out this weekend. I can't drive my car anymore."
*silence again; me thinking, he is so random* "What happened to it? " "Oh...well... me and this girl bumped into each other and now my bumper is hanging off." "That's too bad" "yeah, I have to get me a new car, one with better gas mileage." "Good luck" "Well if you ever want to do something call me. I'll see you at institute." "Right."

I can not believe this guy. I've told almost everyone at work and the guys are in shock. This guy is either really stupid or just can't keep his conversations straight. I thought about suggesting him taking notes on the conversations he has with women so he can remember which ones were interested and which ones said no.

Any bets on when he'll call again?

I turned down my first date!

I was going to title this post "Rejection" but then thought you might think I was rejected, when in fact, I was the rejecter. (PS: Sorry this is long, but I think it's a funny story)

A few months ago I met a nice guy at Institute, he seemed normal except a little ADD - our conversation was all over the place, very random. So at the end of chatting for a while I give him my number. I didn't hear from him in a long time so I had written him off.

The first call was on Presidents Day, February 16. He calls up saying, I just got to class and realized school is canceled. We chat about how he's going to stick around campus and play some basketball yada yada. He says, I wish you lived closer to SLC so we could meet up for lunch. My spirits lift from being forgotten for a month and say, I could be downtown in 15-20 minutes. I hear backpedaling from the other end of the line. "uhhh well.... ummm... maybe I'll give you a call on Saturday and we could do something then." A little confused I agree to maybe talk to him on Saturday, of course I did not.

Again, I wrote him off thinking well, maybe it was too soon to go out with someone anyway. He calls again 2 weeks ago on Sunday. I learned my lesson about getting my hopes up with this guy, try to play it cool and work on flirting techniques. Eventually we decided that we'd like to do something this Friday since has the day off. I suggest a Jazz game at least 3 times but that falls on deaf ears. I say something about maybe going to an art museum Friday night and he starts hemming and hawing and I ask if he's already made plans for Friday night. He says he does but he'd like to go out Friday morning/afternoon. I remind him that I work 6:30-5:30. He then says, call me when you decide what you'd like to do. Baffled, I agree.

I proceed to leave a message for him the next day and mention that SLC has a gallery walk that might be fun - walk around and see the local art galleries. He calls back Tuesday night saying, hey I hope you didn't call last week, he wanted to go out with me that Friday. I think to myself, is this guy just dumb or is he an idiot? He thinks I called last week to go out last Friday but I just called him the day before, Monday. Does he not remember me at all, does he have too many chicks that he's chasing and keep them straight, or does he just not pay attention??

Either way, I don't call back. He calls again and texts me Thursday night: "So, did we talk about a time we were going to plan something for tomorrow". I ignore him.

Then I get several texts Friday afternoon: "Hey- would you like to go out for a late lunch today, or anything any time else. I would love to go out with you - let me know"
"it's my day off- Can I give you a call?" -- I reply, "no thanks"
"I'm at Verizon right now- can I give you a call?" -- I reply back, "if you need to".

The conversation goes something like this, hey were we still going out today? No. Oh...can we go to a late lunch, I'm at the Verizon store. No thanks, I'm not getting a good vibe from you, I don't think it will work out. Oh...what happened? I then explain the baffling President's Day talk, Sunday night talk and lack of hearing my not-so-subtle hints for a Jazz game, and the birrage of texts.

This is my favorite part: he goes, oh I didn't hear you say you would like to meet for lunch when we talked on Presidents Day. I must have hit the mute button on my phone. *scrunching of my eyebrows and a flare of my nostrils* If your phone had been muted, I wouldn't be able to hear you. NOT you not hearing me. Freaking Liar!

In the end I was rude and short with him. He asked if we could still go out. I said no. He said, will you call me when you'd like to go out? I said, yeah you just wait for me to call you.

Normally, I'd go out with him again. I love love love going out and doing stuff, I don't have to marry him but I'll let him take me to dinner and out to a show. Where's the harm in that. I think I'm going to be more picky this time around.

Man-handled

I forgot to mention this last week. In my attempts to avoid the crazy guy at the U of U institute class I was lured to the North Salt Lake Institute class 3 blocks away from my house.

I got there a little after 7 but the class doesn't start until 7:30 - what class ever starts then? - and I sit down in a pew and read over the syllabus a dozen times. As people start filtering in I notice it's almost all girls. Total there are about 60-70 girls and the 15 guys that end up there are almost all spoken for. Anyway, so I'm sitting there waiting for class to start and down in the first two rows the teachers are talking. One gets up and starts sauntering down the aisle. It's a pretty thick and broad-shouldered woman.

It's Sheri Dew! Holy crap... and she's coming right at me. She scans the room and says, "hey guys, how are you doing" and as she passes me, she looks me in the eye. I smile. Then she gives me two hard smacks on the shoulder as she walks by.

I say smack because it wasn't a love tap, it wasn't even a pat. I mean, she jolted me in my seat. *whack* *whack* The sound resonated in the chapel. And that's how I was assaulted at my second institute class in Utah. What is with these people?

8 Things About Me

Sorry Janette, I just saw that you tagged me a a while back.

8 Places I have been:

1. Paris twice (I'm going to brag about that until the day I die)
2. London
3. Switzerland
4. Austria
5. All over Italy
6. Bora Bora
7. Samoa
8. Lichtenstein

8 Places I want to go:
1. Ireland
2. Hawaii
3. the Bahamas
4. Costa Rica
5. Australia
6. New Zealand
7. Greece
8. Solomon Islands

8 Favorite TV shows:
1. Lost
2. Burn Notice
3. The Office
4. Pushing Daisies (sniffle)
5. Fraiser
6. Friends
7. Designed to Sell
8. What Not to Wear

8 Favorite Songs:
1. Heal Over by KT Tunstall
2. The Promise by Tracy Chapman
3. Trouble by Ray LaMontagne
4. Fix You by Coldplay
5. Any on the "August and Everything After" album by the Counting Crows
6. Big Girl (You are Beautiful) by Mika
7. Pledge of Allegiance by Louis XIV
8. Money Maker by Rilo Kiley

Additional: The Luckiest by Ben Folds, Let it Snow (I love love love Christmas music), Flathead by the Fratellis, and most of the Monkey Business album by Black Eyed Peas. Oh and Justin Timberlake's early stuff.

8 Things I did Yesterday:
1. Flat ironed my hair
2. Drove from Bountiful to American Fork to work
3. Made a ton of calls for work
4. Sent out 3 quotes
5. Went on a session at the Jordan River Temple with my parents
6. Watched Burn Notice
7. Took a shower
8. Read my night-time book "Forever Odd"

8 Things I look forward to:
1. Playing tennis in the courts below my house
2. Spring!
3. Not being in sales anymore
4. Dating again (I really enjoyed that first time around)
5. Not having to drive 45 minutes to work
6. Hiking in Arches over General Conference weekend
7. Dinner
8. New movies

8 Favorite Restaurants:
1. Paradise Cafe
2. JCW
3. Del Taco (49 cent tacos!)
4. PF Changs
5. Texas Road House
6. Panda Express
7. Red Robin
8. Macaroni Grill

8 Things on my wish list:
1. Get myself all skinnied up
2. A decent job not in the sales field
3. Take tennis lessons
4. Find a guy who sings but isn't weird (they seem to go hand in hand)
5. Have a library of all the books I've read
6. A houndstooth scarf or bag or something cute (last summer I was all about giraffe prints)
7. To be on What Not To Wear just for the $5K new wardrobe
8. I would like to marry Michael Westen from Burn Notice or at least someone who looks like him

If anyone wants to do this feel free to. I love doing these silly things and seeing what everyone says, it's a nice way to get to know each other.

FHE in SLC

Debbie's boyfriend Dan, the huge guy in red, suggested we all met at an outdoor ice skating rink in downtown Salt Lake. I can't remember the name of the square but evidently it's a happenin' place to be. In the summers they have concerts in the plaza and it's a huge thing. The best part about it was it only took about 10 minutes from our house to get downtown. We just hop on Beck Street then over to Victory and we're dropped off on the east side of the conference center. Talk about fast and easy (that's what she said).

That night the rink was supposed to be reserved for students at the Salt Lake Community College but no one was there, so we were let in for free! Nice. We laced up and hobbled over to the rink and instantly felt self-conscious. Debbie didn't let go of the railing for a good 2 laps, then she would only stand while someone dragged or pushed her on the ice. Dan's sister Faye came with and was just the sweetest person. Dan is probably 6'5" I'd guess and Faye was maybe 5'4". They both spent most of the last 30 minutes trying to do a half turn - racing straight ahead then somehow switch to backwards. Dan was hillarious to watch; this huge guy with these long arms flailing around him trying to keep him in balance was so funny to watch. He ate it a few times, he'd lay there for a bit, maybe whimper.

It got to be a competition, who would be the last person standing. Dad was the first to fall, feeling a little too confident and attempting the cross over around the corner. Poor old guy, he konked his knee pretty badly, but was such a good sport and got up right away to "skate it off". Dan of course was on the ice a ton, Debbie only fell once when she was trying to help Dan up. It was between me and Faye. The last lap Faye fell trying to do the turn thing.

I WON!

My 28th Birthday

Yesterday was my 28th birthday, and though this is not how I had expected to spend my birthday, I had a great time. Monday night we had my brother Geoff and Janene, Megan, Ben, Mara, plus Debbie and Dan came over for dinner and cake. Mom had put together a lovely slide show of all my birthdays and Dad told the story of my birth.

Tuesday I worked a half-day then met up with Mom to go to lunch with Debbie. We had a fantastic lunch of soup and sandwiches at Gourmandies in downtown Salt Lake. After lunch we had a great time going through the local antique shops and as we waited for my hair appointment.

I decided to change my hair. I was not willing to cut it because it is just so long, I love it. So we just trimmed it and then decided to go reddish. I needed a little sass in my life. One of the guys I work with said I look like Jean Grey on X-Men, without the attitude.

Institute

I thought it would be beneficial to attend an institute class, not for social purposes (yet) since I'm not officially single, but for a spiritually uplifting hour and a half plus I get away from my parents.

I tried the Bountiful institute class just down the mountain from me, but it was basically high school continuation; I felt like the chaperon. All the children in the class were talking about how they're leaving for their mission in 3 weeks. I am almost 10 years old than these kids! That was a bit depressing. So the week after I went to the University of Utah Institute class, they have a class specific for 25-35 adults.

I sat in the middle of the row so people can fill in, I hate when people sit on the end and you have to crawl over them. Just scoot in people. Anyway, I'm listening to the lesson about the infinite atonement and this guy sits down 2 seats away. Then he scoots over to one seat away. I'm sitting rather slouched and leaning towards the chair between us with my hand on the seat kinda propping me up. He leans over and drags a finger of the back of my hand to get my attention and made some comment. That took me by surprise to say the least. Then he did it again. And again. Then instead of dragging a finger across, his hand sort of rested on my hand.

Now at this point a few thoughts are going through my mind. 1. Have I been out of the game so long that this normal? 2. Do I look that innocent and naive that this guy thinks he can touch my hand and I'll be ok with it? 3. What does he want? 4. Why is the only decent looking guy end up a total creep? (seriously, all the other guys look like dopes)

So the class end and I start putting chairs away and he's going on and on about nothing. I start to walk over to the snack area he follows, talking all the time. Then I say, I'm going to leave, he says he'll walk me to my car. I politely turn that down but he says he's also walking out. I figure, there are tons of people around he's not going to kidnap me or anything. So turns out he's parked right next to me. Lovely. We stand there talking about work, living in Bountiful, etc and all of the sudden he's holding my hands. Uhhh yeah definitely not normal. And he start talking about how he wishes he could say the perfect thing. About what?! Then he wants to show off is new stereo system, opens all the doors and starts rocking out to U2- "With or Without You". I felt like I was on candid camera. Thinking, is this really happening?

Then he bring the hands up to his chest area, holding mine all the while, which I didn't mind b/c it was cold (probably 25 degrees out) and I didn't have gloves. He starts swaying to the music. Then I started to look around for cameras or people watching. No one watched, they walked by as if this was normal! In the end we parted ways, he asked for my phone number and I gave him Adam's. I thought it'd be funny for Adam to get a call from a guy I met here. Mean I know.

I drove home that night thinking I needed to work on my, "if you're a creep don't bother" look.

Coming Back to Missouri

So I'm flying back to Missouri this Friday, the 30th. I'll probably get in town about 6:30pm which is ridiculous considering my flight leaves at 7:10 am. My dad and I plan on packing that night and Saturday morning, we're hoping to be on the road by 1 or 2 at the latest.

I've had a few people offer to come help. I REALLY appreciate the offer, anyone who'd like to stop by just to say good-bye is welcome, you don't have to help. I am so thankful for the friends I have in Columbia that have shown support through my current trials. You are all amazing women. I look forward to seeing everyone that stops by. See you in a few days!

The Joys of Living at Home

Living at home has pluses and minuses of course. My favorite part so far is not having to cook dinner every night after a 45 minute commute. As I mentioned we live in Bountiful (north of Salt Lake) and I work in American Fork (almost to Provo). I never have bad traffic unless it's snowing and then it takes me 2 hours to get home. Luckily the majority of people on the road are going towards Salt Lake in the morning and back south at 5, which is opposite of me.

The other nice thing is my Mom is all about making me comfortable and feeling loved. So I got to redecorate my bedroom. My room when I was in high school was a gold-ish comforter with maroon and green plaid sheets. I don't know how we decided on that but I'll take full responsibility. I was in high school, what did I know.

My favorite part is that my bed, bedside tables, dresser, and desk are all antique rosewood. They were my Great-Grandmother's set and they're just beautiful - the pictures don't do it justice.

But now I've got new sheets and a duvet cover in black and white. I was going for toille but fell in this set that I found in Ikea. They had it paired with some beautiful bright green accents around the room in a vase and pillow. But this is the beginnings. Black shams, white sheets and a reversible comforter. I like the white side better (not being racist Chelsea) but I like the black trim at the top. Mom and I will make a black and white striped bed skirt and probably use the same material on my window seat.

I don't know about the cut out artwork above - what do you guys think? Should I move them closer together or down more?