So I'm flying back to Missouri this Friday, the 30th. I'll probably get in town about 6:30pm which is ridiculous considering my flight leaves at 7:10 am. My dad and I plan on packing that night and Saturday morning, we're hoping to be on the road by 1 or 2 at the latest.
I've had a few people offer to come help. I REALLY appreciate the offer, anyone who'd like to stop by just to say good-bye is welcome, you don't have to help. I am so thankful for the friends I have in Columbia that have shown support through my current trials. You are all amazing women. I look forward to seeing everyone that stops by. See you in a few days!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Joys of Living at Home
Living at home has pluses and minuses of course. My favorite part so far is not having to cook dinner every night after a 45 minute commute. As I mentioned we live in Bountiful (north of Salt Lake) and I work in American Fork (almost to Provo). I never have bad traffic unless it's snowing and then it takes me 2 hours to get home. Luckily the majority of people on the road are going towards Salt Lake in the morning and back south at 5, which is opposite of me.
The other nice thing is my Mom is all about making me comfortable and feeling loved. So I got to redecorate my bedroom. My room when I was in high school was a gold-ish comforter with maroon and green plaid sheets. I don't know how we decided on that but I'll take full responsibility. I was in high school, what did I know.
My favorite part is that my bed, bedside tables, dresser, and desk are all antique rosewood. They were my Great-Grandmother's set and they're just beautiful - the pictures don't do it justice.
But now I've got new sheets and a duvet cover in black and white. I was going for toille but fell in this set that I found in Ikea. They had it paired wit
h some beautiful bright green accents around the room in a vase and pillow. But this is the beginnings. Black shams, white sheets and a reversible comforter. I like the white side better (not being racist Chelsea) but I like the black trim at the top. Mom and I will make a black and white striped bed skirt and probably use the same material on my window seat.
I don't know about the cut out artwork above - what do you guys think? Should I move them closer together or down more?
The other nice thing is my Mom is all about making me comfortable and feeling loved. So I got to redecorate my bedroom. My room when I was in high school was a gold-ish comforter with maroon and green plaid sheets. I don't know how we decided on that but I'll take full responsibility. I was in high school, what did I know.
My favorite part is that my bed, bedside tables, dresser, and desk are all antique rosewood. They were my Great-Grandmother's set and they're just beautiful - the pictures don't do it justice.
But now I've got new sheets and a duvet cover in black and white. I was going for toille but fell in this set that I found in Ikea. They had it paired wit
h some beautiful bright green accents around the room in a vase and pillow. But this is the beginnings. Black shams, white sheets and a reversible comforter. I like the white side better (not being racist Chelsea) but I like the black trim at the top. Mom and I will make a black and white striped bed skirt and probably use the same material on my window seat.
I don't know about the cut out artwork above - what do you guys think? Should I move them closer together or down more?
Monday, January 19, 2009
Why I live in UT and my husband lives in MO
So as most of you know I left Adam in November, in fact the day I was supposed to go out and get the fixins for Thanksgiving dinner. Nice huh. I left as fast as I could for the security of family. My parents just recently moved into a house in Bountiful, Utah. Geoff, Janene, and their three kids live in Farmington and my sister Debbie lives in Salt Lake. We're all about 15 minutes from each other and get together at least once a week.
Being with family has saved me. What should have been a horrific experience in my life has become almost painless and tear-free. Being in the middle of my life I couldn't see what was really going on. I was torn between two live styles. Adam being relaxed and care-free and church and what I should be doing. As I came to realize Adam wanted nothing to do with the church and even attempted to feed me awful materials and I couldn't handle it. We tried living with the pornography issues, the lies, and manipulation. But living without the church was too much.
I had been miserable for months; there wasn't a week that went by without crying. He took of his garments and was going out to bars with his pals. He started writing on this forum called "Post Mormon" and it was easy to find him and his ranting about how terrible his life has been. I was mortified to find out he claims he didn't really love me from the beginning but did in time learn to love me.
The final straw was a forum discussion he started asking what's the worst thing you did on your mission. There were confessions of kissing girls, going to movies, etc. and he writes that he was expecting something steamier and confesses going to Mexico, getting pornography, then sleeping with a sister missionary. Needless to say I was livid. I was agast. I was sick to my stomach. I printed that off and taped it to the front door with a handwritten note saying "thank you for making my choice to leave you so much easier". He says he lied. Of course he did. And he was confused why I wasn't happier to find out he didn't sleep with her. I was dumbstruck.
And after being with my parents for the last few months, my eyes have been opened to view the past 5 years of my personal spiritual decline. My mom put it best. -it's like I was in a river. Even though I was standing still, Adam was floating down stream and dragging me with him. In the 2 months I've been gone, I've seen a total change in me.
I went to a therapist for a bit because I was so distraught. He told me later, when I walked in, before I said anything, he knew this was huge and awful. My sister's boyfriend that I had never met before even said I looked like a battered woman. I thought I hid it well and perfect strangers could see it. But the last time I saw my therapist, he said I looked much better and healthier. I don't even need to go back to visit him unless I need it.
So I'm living in my parents enormous basement, waiting for 3 months to file for divorce online. Thankfully Utah is a 'no-fault' state. Since he doesn't owe on child support or anything, neither of us have fault so I'm good to go. And once that happens, I'm FREE! A huge weight will be lifted from me and I never want to hear or say the name Adam ever again.
Thanks to everyone who has emailed and called with support. I plan on this being the only post with his name in it. The rest will be about the new house, my new bedroom stuff, projects I'm working on, and boys! Oh yes, you will all be jealous.
Being with family has saved me. What should have been a horrific experience in my life has become almost painless and tear-free. Being in the middle of my life I couldn't see what was really going on. I was torn between two live styles. Adam being relaxed and care-free and church and what I should be doing. As I came to realize Adam wanted nothing to do with the church and even attempted to feed me awful materials and I couldn't handle it. We tried living with the pornography issues, the lies, and manipulation. But living without the church was too much.
I had been miserable for months; there wasn't a week that went by without crying. He took of his garments and was going out to bars with his pals. He started writing on this forum called "Post Mormon" and it was easy to find him and his ranting about how terrible his life has been. I was mortified to find out he claims he didn't really love me from the beginning but did in time learn to love me.
The final straw was a forum discussion he started asking what's the worst thing you did on your mission. There were confessions of kissing girls, going to movies, etc. and he writes that he was expecting something steamier and confesses going to Mexico, getting pornography, then sleeping with a sister missionary. Needless to say I was livid. I was agast. I was sick to my stomach. I printed that off and taped it to the front door with a handwritten note saying "thank you for making my choice to leave you so much easier". He says he lied. Of course he did. And he was confused why I wasn't happier to find out he didn't sleep with her. I was dumbstruck.
And after being with my parents for the last few months, my eyes have been opened to view the past 5 years of my personal spiritual decline. My mom put it best. -it's like I was in a river. Even though I was standing still, Adam was floating down stream and dragging me with him. In the 2 months I've been gone, I've seen a total change in me.
I went to a therapist for a bit because I was so distraught. He told me later, when I walked in, before I said anything, he knew this was huge and awful. My sister's boyfriend that I had never met before even said I looked like a battered woman. I thought I hid it well and perfect strangers could see it. But the last time I saw my therapist, he said I looked much better and healthier. I don't even need to go back to visit him unless I need it.
So I'm living in my parents enormous basement, waiting for 3 months to file for divorce online. Thankfully Utah is a 'no-fault' state. Since he doesn't owe on child support or anything, neither of us have fault so I'm good to go. And once that happens, I'm FREE! A huge weight will be lifted from me and I never want to hear or say the name Adam ever again.
Thanks to everyone who has emailed and called with support. I plan on this being the only post with his name in it. The rest will be about the new house, my new bedroom stuff, projects I'm working on, and boys! Oh yes, you will all be jealous.
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