I QUIT

I didn't wake up thinking today was the day of freedom. In fact, it started like any other day. Snoozed the alarm twice, took 15 minutes picking out something to wear, rushed through the rest of getting ready, listening to the Spiderwick Chronicles on the 45 minute commute to work, and was at work only 5 minutes late.

At 9:30 or so my bestest friend whom I work with told me she was being let go. She has been there for me for years - I feel awful b/c I brought her to work with me at BrainStorm. We worked at Public Surplus together for a year and I brought her with me. I think she's the only person who really knew what I have been going through for so many years with A. Needless to say, I was in shock. I had been trying to convince her when I quit (after a HUGE deal came in for me) to walk out at the same time. My heart was racing when my manager asked to talk with me.

We went for a walk to a local bakery and as we walked he told me about how my own job status was hanging by a thread, that I had too much of a bad attitude (granted I'll agree with that one to a degree but I thought going through a divorce would lend some sympathy). As we sat there and he went over and over about my short-comings I decided I would do what I wanted my friend to do for me. When asked what I thought, I looked him in the eye and said, "I'm going to be brave. If you will send me my check on the 5th, I think I'm done here."

Now he started back pedaling, wait don't do anything rash, take the day to think it over. Turns out, no one told him to come tell me my weaknesses and how I need to shape up or ship out. He did that on his own. And if he hadn't, I probably would have stayed. It's nice how that's been happening. I would have stayed with A but he did some things that were too far past the line so I felt justified in leaving. Same here. I feel like I got all I could out of that job, I was just putting in my time until something better came along.

So I'm off to go call my brother and tell him I'd like to be his legal secretary/adminstrator person we've been talking about for a few weeks. This decision feels really good, I'm not in tears, not breathing into a bag b/c I'm hyperventilating. I feel empowered. I left of my own accord b/c I was tired of putting up with the stress and hell I've been through in the last several months.

I now close that awful chapter in my life. Done. Never to be opened again.
I like this bold and brave new Becka. I think I'll keep her around.