The New Guy on the Block

To protect the innocent guy, his name has been changed. I'm calling him Teddy; on our first date I tried to guess his middle name. I knew it started with a T, I guessed Theodore, which he thought was hilarious, so Teddy is his name now. Plus Theo makes me think of The Cosby Show.

Ladies, let me tell you, I think it's been about a year since the fun began. I believe it's been a rather long road with some strange passers-by. We've met Bregg, Bob's Burger Boy Tom, the angry midget Tom, the non-showering guy just to name a few. We finally have a guy who is such a breath of fresh air. We've gone out a couple times now, tonight included, and there are no flags. *both arms raised in triumph* Hazah!

We went to some place in SLC and had to wait 30 minutes for a table (on a Thursday night, how crazy would it be on Friday or Saturday), we entertained ourselves by playing the country capitals game. He actually did pretty good. He's one of those people that if you asked me what we talked about I couldn't tell you. We talk nonstop but it's little getting-to-know-you stuff. I'm just enjoying the moment; we sat and talked over our pizzas for almost an hour and a half before we decided to go.

We went back to his house [ladies, he has his own house, no parents, no roommates - glory!] and played catch phrase for a while. Then we sat and talked for another 2 hours.

Do you know what I appreciate about him? I appreciate that he helps me in and out my coat, he doesn't just hand it to me. He opens doors and lets me go first. He has a serious job and it's evident he is super smart. He is friendly to everyone. He is kind and I see glimmers of thoughtfulness. He is close with his family. He is a strong priesthood leader and has a strong testimony. He hasn't tried to kiss me or anything but there is DEFINITE interest. He smiles with his eyes.

Last week when we watched a movie at his place, we started off on our own cushions. Halfway through I leaned forward to get a drink and turned around to say something and noticed he was sitting on the crack. Close enough but not on top of me. And there was a lot of leaning. Does anyone remember that bit in "While You Were Sleeping"? He was... leaning.

*sigh* Girls, I'm such the smitten kitten.

Ode to My Fatness

I was looking at pictures from last Christmas and Thanksgiving, right after I left Missouri. Holy cow, I hadn't realized how plump I had become. I thought I hid my weight well enough.
Note to self, never wear that sweater again. I must really love you guys because this picture is just embarrassing. I love that I'm standing weird in hopes to make my wobbly bits look less...noticeable.

Here is this Christmas:

Still busty but smaller than before

I went through all 250 pictures from Christmas and these two pictures are the only ones of just me. The rest are pictures of the nieces and nephew. This is the best you're gonna get right now. I'll have to ask someone to take a few pictures of me so you can tell I've lost the weight.

And just in case you're wondering, I started going to the gym in September and since then have been fairly serious about it. At freaking 6 o'dark in the morning I go and walk/run 2+ miles in the 30 minutes before I have to shower and get ready for work.

Thus far in the 4 months I have been doing this I have lost 30 lbs, dropped 3 pants sizes (almost to single digits again!), and have more energy during the day.

Reflections:
To my friends in MO, I feel terrible that you only got to know the Becka that was a sad, depressed chub of a girl. Since leaving MO and he-who-must-not-be-named, I have come almost back to who I was before. I am healthier spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and now physically. I am happier and loving my life again. My friend and I used to joke while playing foosball, "I hate my life" and I came to realize I wasn't joking. It had become my mantra. But I don't anymore. I have fantastic friends, a great support system that cradled me while I healed.

So thank you to everyone who told me I was strong, that let me vent and cry on their shoulder, who told me I was better off and that I'd get through this. Thank you for reminding me that my Savior knows me, that He can help me. Thank you for all the pep talks. I feel like I know myself better now than I ever have. I am determined and I am focused on what I want out of my life. I will not settle (especially for those who do not shower voluntarily).



PS - Posts to come include date night that wasn't exactly a date but more of a get-to-know-you evening plus Dinner Party! The ward put together groups of people to get together for dinner and I'm hosting since I have a huge dining room table and space. We're having tamale pie and enchiladas.

Fabulous Fat Quote

So I'm reading Bridget Jones' Diary. I came across this quote and laughed out loud and read it over a few times.

"I can actually feel the fat splurging out from my body. Nevermind. Sometimes you have to sink to a toxic fat envelopment in order to emerge, phoenix-like from the chemical wasteland as a purged and beautiful Michelle Pfeiffer figure."

I hope everyone's New Years resolutions are still going strong.

***Update: I have to stop reading this book because I am now finding myself saying swear words in my head at the littlest things. That Bridget is a bumbling goose of a girl and says those words frequently, I thought it wouldn't bother me.

It scared me that I am so persuadable. Although, I am one of those people that will actually yawn when I read the word "YAWN". How many of you did?

Over Before It Started

I went to a Christmas party and met a nice guy. Rather quiet but funny, tallish and built like a horse. Oh and did I mention he looks the spitting image of White House spokesman Robert Gibbs? Not terribly attractive [or at all] but we're just playing, nothing serious. We'll call him Robert, just to be fun.
Robert lives in Ogden. Robert is unemployed. That's two strikes so I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Robert calls and wants to take me to dinner Monday night, but I can't because I'm going to FHE (walking around temple square in 19 degree weather), I suggest lunch. We go to Jason's Deli for soup, chat and have an all-around nice time. Drops me off at work.

Not 3 hours later I get a text asking to do lunch again tomorrow. Sure I say, I'm always up for a luncheon, I get rather lonesome in my office. Expecting to have to pay for lunch I am surprised when he whips out his card again to pay for lunch. Ah yes, he just picked up his unemployment check so he's in the money. We sit down at our table and I think to myself "Self, isn't that the same shirt he wore yesterday? Naw, I'm sure it must be a similar style but not the exact shirt. He's almost 30, grown ups don't do that anymore." Again I am dropped off to my work.

Here's when it starts getting strange [but tell me you weren't speed reading to get to this part]. This morning I get a call from Robert. Now Robert, being unemployed and loving it, doesn't wake before 10:30 or 11am most days. How did he call me at 7:45? When I call back at 11:45am I've woken him from sleep. I say how surprised I was to see he had called so early.

"I was just getting back."
Back from where, I think. "Oh, late night?" I ask, with slight jealousy. I don't want him, he's ugly but I still don't want a hussy moving in on my lunch-date sugar daddy.
"Yeah, but I didn't have fun. Can I take you to lunch today?"
I think to myself: 1. if you didn't have fun, why stay out until almost 8am doing it? 2. what can you even be doing at 4 or 5 or 6am in Ogden anyway and 3. where can I make him take me to lunch.

I agree and we go to Fazzoli's. It's freezing so we leave our coats on. About half way through and I kid you not, he took off his coat and there was the shirt. I stare in disbelief. I get a squint in my eye and say, "Can I ask you something?" He knows what I'm about to ask. He looks down, hopefully in shame but you never can tell about boys. Before I can finish my question he says over our breadsticks and spaghetti, "you want to know if this is the same shirt I wore for the last two days". "It's been three days" I correct him.

Then to my shock and horror he admits it. He had a late night and didn't have time to change. I remark that it doesn't take more than 3 minutes to put on a new shirt. Then I feel sick to my stomach. Wait a second... if you haven't changed your shirt in 3 days then you haven't changed your underwear or showered... IN THREE DAYS!!!

I seriously almost vomit. We leave immediately. He thinks I'm overreacting. I say "do NOT call me again, even if you do develop better personal hygiene practices. You are SO not worth it" and stalked to my office where I will continue to shudder off and on for the next 2 hours.

All I Want for Christmas...

is for my cramps to go away. I hate being a girl. Not a nice Christmas gift to myself.