White Elephant

I LOVE white elephant gift exchanges. Love in all caps and spelled out. They are so funny. I do not appreciate when people do stupid stuff like a book. Really? A book? Come on. Or a fabric lint defuzzer. Gah!

Some great white elephant gifts in the past: a HUGE ceramic bunny cookie jar, mariachi band music and hat, an oversized box of toilet paper, a pineapple (hey it's winter), a t-shirt of a lady in Santa undies. It's glorious!

This year I am blessed. We have two white elephant gift exchanges, one for family and one with our Monday night dinner group. I am so excited for the second one. SO EXCITED! I about peed my pants when I put together all the pieces. [the group of friends are all married, mid- to late-20s. No kids.]

It started last night. Opening drawers. Starring into the closet. Wandering room to room. Back to the drawers to pull the stuff squashed in the back out into the open. I found it. Birth control pills. Hmmm, not very funny; more useful than funny. I'll keep it in mind. A pregnancy test. Hmmm again, paired with the pills it's kind of funny. I worry about offending someone. I wander into the laundry room. A used candle. Hmmm cubed. Then Alex suggests the pièce de résistance!

I call it "Choose your own adventure"

Contains:
one (1) small green candle that should smell like apples but only smells like burning, half used.
one (1) package of birth control pills.
one (1) EPT pregnancy test.
one (1) bottle of tingling sensation lube. Only used once (it was not my favorite thing)

Choose your own adventure, indeed!