Second verse, same as the first

*read as a play*
The scene is the Institute building at the University of Utah campus. A lovely 80 degrees at 7:10pm. Two women are walking towards the building, chatting about the religion class they will be attending. They are both wearing sunglasses.

Enter women stage right. They are startled because there are a ton more people attending the class tonight than last week. Excited about the prospects they grab a seat in the middle. They try to listen intently while the teacher, who is knowledgeable and full of stories, takes so many tangents in the lesson it's hard to remember what they were talking about in the first place.

The class ends. Cue all students in the hard chairs standing and stretching, maybe a few crack their backs while others pat their bottoms. Cue choreographed chair stacking dance, then saunter as sexily as possible to the snack shack. The women stop dead in their tracks. Applesauce cups, oh ew.

The two women are standing near a stack of chairs. There are more than a hundred people surrounding them, all chatting away with people they know. Some mill around looking for someone to meet. And then....freeze frame... she sees him. The creep Larry from last week.

"oh crap" the woman yelps as she tries to duck behind her smaller friend.
"Ignore him. Don't look at him, maybe he won't see us or remember us." says the friend. There is more furtive looking in the opposite direct. Straining the eyes to make it seem like they were trying to find one person out of the group.

Enter weirdo from last week from stage left; cue internal cursing and a roll of the eyes from the women. "Are you holding these chairs up?" *pause* "you've got your arm on them so the chairs don't run away." More internal cursing from the women. "Can I get your name, or is that not okay?"

With a burst of exasperation, the woman says, "you met me last week."
"Oh I don't remember that. What does your name start with? Give me the first letter and I'll guess it."

Visual aggression is shown in the woman while the other has remained turned away from the conversation. The woman notices her friend who previously offered to be the one to give the creeps the boot has chosen silence in hopes he takes the hint. The woman has learned these kind of guys do not take the hint. She looks back at the guy and says firmly, "no".

They stare at each other; him waiting for her to laugh and say just kidding and her waiting for him to leave. If she were on 'the Office', she would be looking at the camera right now. After at least 10 awkward second, she turns to the friend and says, "let's get out of here. My evening is ruined."

[this story is made possible by the letters L-A-M and the letter E. Had he not shown up, there would have been no post. This story is now being made into a Broadway play entitled "I'm a Magnet for Them". ]